the dream and the reality!
by maria190
Summary: What if Switzerland would never happened? Thanks to a letter, two dreams and Clark. Will's point of view. I love them!


**Guys, this is the possibility that Will had dreamt about what would happen if he does what he plans in Switzerland. Will's point of view everyone. I love them. I adore them. And I pray every day for Will to return in a second movie and in a third book. Oh Sam Claflin is absolutely one of a kind and perfect as Will Traynor. So here it is . I hope you'll like it. A movie / book mixture.**

As Clark is sleeping with me in this room, this stormy night, after the perfect kiss we had, here in Mauritius, I am drifting off to a sweet sleep as well, as she holds me tight with her hand on my arm and her head on my chest. And I kiss her forehead and I say:

"Goodnight my sweet Clark" and she sleeps with a face full of smile, the same smile I have, because we are together. And I close my eyes and ….

…. What ? Where am I? How did I got here? Oh I am dreaming. And here I am in my dream , sitting on my wheelchair and watching me in this room in Switzerland with my family and now I see Clark entering the room. And as I see myself in that bed, Clark is smiling at me as I am smiling at her and my parents are leaving the room to give us privacy:

"Don't tell me. You're here to make my last cup of tea"

"Actually no, I am here to kidnap you. I'm going to steal you and I'm going to take you to "

"Where?"

"Rio"

"Mmmmm"

"Or my mum's and dad's . I haven't quiet decided yet"

And we both smile with so much pain in our eyes and with so much love at the same time and then I say:

"Open the doors Clark"

And when she did and we both looked outside, she turned to me smiling and I said:

"Come here" and she came to that bed next to me and I said:

"Closer"

And she hugged me and we both got lost in that hug , as she is having her head on my chest and then I say as I felt her breaking from the sorrow:

"Look at me" and at first she nodded no, but I insisted:

"Please look at me"

"I can't" she said and I said:

"Tough. I need to see that face. I need to see that face of yours. Even if it is all pink and blotchy"

Then we both laughed and she looked at me and said:

"You really are the most impossible man Will Traynor" and I said:

"And the world will definitely be a better place without me"

"No" she said.

"No, it won't" she said as I smiled and I saw her hugging me again with her head on my chest and she was holding and caressing my hand and I told her not to be sad. But she was. As I was sad. And then we told each other something good. She told me our story and I sang to her the Molahonkey song. Like she sang it to me that night when it was all snowing outside and I was ill. And we were alone like no one else existed in the world.

So as we told to each other something good, she looked at me so deep into my eyes and I said:

"Will you stay?" and she said:

"For as long as you want me to"

And we stayed there looking at each other with so much pain and so in love and then, we kissed. And I wanted to kiss her forever. I wanted that kiss to never end. So as we kissed , we stayed there breathing in each other, feeling each other. And as we were looking at each other, me shedding tears and she, ready to fall apart, I told her with heavy heart:

"Can you call my parents in?"

And as we were both shedding tears, she nodded yes and then I see her hand below mine as I caressing her hand with the one finger I could move. And then …. It's all blank.

I am now awake and so confused about what I saw.

Was that a dream ? Or did I see what exactly will happen if I go there? Oh God I just saw what will happen if I do what I plan there, in Switzerland. In that bloody place. And as Clark is ready to be awake too ….. I try not to shed tears. I try to calm down from what I saw in my dream and all I can think now that she is waking up is: What should I do? I can't accept this bloody wheelchair but I can't stand the pain we both felt in that room. In that bloody room in that bloody Switzerland. And now she's awake:

"Hey you good morning"

"Good morning Clark" and we both smiled. And she gave me a kiss on my cheek as I said.

"Just that?" and she said:

"I was hoping you' d say that" and she kissed my lips and our kiss deepened. Then I tried not to think of what I saw in my dream. And as she headed to the bathroom and then got me dressed and gave my medication, we had breakfast and then we went for scuba diving with Nathan. Clark would do it only as I signed up for her the previous day. And she was afraid and I told her:

"Just do it"

"No I can't. I can't. It's gonna be too deep. So I can't"

"You can. You can do anything" and she nodded no, but she did it. And she said as I was watching her with Nathan from the boat:

"Why didn't you make me do that earlier? That was amazing" I smiled then. Oh I was so happy and I told her:

"I don't know Clark. Some people just won't be told" and I was smiling and she was cheering in the sea and clapping her hands. That moment I saw a hunger in her. A fearlessness that she kept hiding. And I am looking at her so proud and so in love with her.

And tonight we are on the beach just the two of us. And the light music is playing as the stars are above in the sky and she smiles at me wearing a beautiful dress as I am dressed in white shirt and trousers and she says:

"I don't wanna go home. This has … This has been the best" and I look at her so in love but also lost in my thoughts as she says:

"You're glad you came right?"

And I say I am glad.

Oh I am too emotional and in love with her but still in my thoughts. But when I see her dancing in front of me I laugh, I am happy and for seconds I stopped being in my thoughts. About Switzerland. And the dream. And as she gets close to me, still dancing and me still laughing and smiling because I feel happy, because I love her, I say to her:

"You. You are something else Clark." And she says :

"Well"

And she sits on my lap and while she does, I look at her so in love and we kiss. And as we are kissing she can tell that I am struggling with something. And she's right , because my thoughts about Switzerland are back and I have to tell her. So as our kiss ended, I told her:

"I have to tell you something"

And she says:

"I know. I know about Switzerland. I have known for months. Listen, I know this is not how you would have chosen it, but I can make you happy"

She knows and she was trying to change my mind and she loves me as much as I love her. And as she said to me that she can make me happy, I will reply to her something not because I don't love her or because she doesn't make me happy. Because I adore her and she makes me very happy. I will reply this because this wheelchair has given me so much pain. So I reply:

"No"

"What?"

"No, Clark. I get that this could be a good life. But it's not my life. It's not even close. You never saw me before. I loved my life. I really loved it. I can't be the kind of man who just accepts this. "

And I said that because I really loved my life without the wheelchair. And I love my life with her but I said that because I would like us to be together without me in that wheelchair. Because the sure thing is that I will always love her. As she will always love me. So as I say this she says:

"You're not giving it a chance. You're not giving me a chance. I have become a whole new person these last six months because of you"

And as I am looking at her so in love and so sad that I say to her that I can't stand the wheelchair I say:

"I know and that's why I can't have you tied to me. I don't want you to miss all the things that someone else could give you"

And I can't stand Clark being with someone else . And I know she doesn't want to be with someone else. I said that because this wheelchair makes me say this. And as she cries and she nodded no, not been able to accept my words I also say:

"And selfishly, I don't want you to look at me one day and feel even the tiniest bit of regret or pity"

I know she would never feel regret or pity but I couldn't bare even the slightest possibility. I know that this wheelchair might makes me think wrong but I am so exhausted but also so in love with her. And as she cries and still doesn't accept what I am saying she says:

"I would never think that"

And I say:

"You don't know that. I can't watch you wandering around the annex in your crazy dresses" and as we are both in pain I continue saying:

"Or see you naked and not … not be able to do …. Oh, God, Clark, if you had any idea what I want to do to you right now. I can't live like this."

And she says as she is ready to fall apart and as I am too:

"Please Will, please"

"Shhhh …. Shhhhh … Listen. This, tonight, being with you is the most wonderful thing you could have ever done for me. But I need it to end here. No more pain and exhaustion and waking up every morning already wishing it was over. "

And it's true. That this night with her is magical. Every moment with her is magical. I just can't stand any more exhaustion. Oh and I love her so much. And as we are both falling apart I say:

"It's not going to get better than this. The doctors know it and I know it"

And there it is I said it. Although I am not going to get better I could not go to Switzerland because I can be steady for many years. And as I said , this could be a good life because I love her. Oh God how much I love her. But in my mind again, the exhaustion is too much. And I say:

"When we get back, I am going to Switzerland. So I'm asking you …."

And I asked her to come with me. And she got mad and heartbroken because she loves me and she can't stand watching me doing what I plan. And as we both are in a terrible condition, crying , she leaves and I call her name but I can't get a respond.

And now I am back in my hotel room as Nathan and a hotel employee helped me settle. And she is in her room. And I can't sleep. I think of her, what happened and the dream I had with us in that bed in Switzerland. And although I saw how in pain we were in that bed in my dream, or vision or whatever, it was, I have to do this. I have to go to Switzerland. Even If I love her so much. Because I do. I love her too much.

I am not able to sleep tonight. Not after what happened. I hate that she suffers so much and I keep thinking what is she doing right now in the room next to me. I want her here with me as I know she wants the same , to be here with me. Even if she's so mad at me right now. But it's not like that. She's not mad , she is afraid of what I want to do. Because she loves me so much. But even after Switzerland I will never leave Louisa Clark. I will always be with her and she will always be with me because we are soul mates. For eternity.

And as I am thinking and I am in so much pain inside me, thinking of her, I am shedding tears and I didn't realize it, but I managed to fell asleep. Because now, here I am. I am dreaming again …..

… And the morning came and I am awake. And in the few hours I managed to sleep, I now remember my dream. And I remembered all about this dream. I dreamt of what life would be for everyone and especially for Clark, if I do what I plan in Switzerland. And I didn't like at all what I saw. And as I am in shock I try to tell to myself:

"No, Will Traynor. You were just dreaming. You have to go to Switzerland"

And as we got our baggage to return in England, Clark was not speaking to me in the whole flight. And as we landed my parents were so happy to see me but Clark left right away. She couldn't bare the thought of what I want to do. And my mother followed her and they talked just for a little but Clark left. And as my parents now know I will go to Switzerland after all, I can see how miserable they are. Nathan too.

And as I am at the annex now, the day for Switzerland is quite close. I am staring out of the window and thinking of her, ready to prepare a letter for her. A letter that she will read after Switzerland. In that letter I am giving her directions to go to Paris and open it strictly in the specific café I like so much, with strong coffee and croissants with unsalted butter and strawberry jam . In that letter I am telling her how much I love her and what I discussed that day in the annex with Michael Lawler. And I love her as much as she loves me. And now , as I finished that letter on my computer , I am reading it from the start. And I am shedding tears and I can't stop thinking the dreams I had. And I am so sad and so pissed all of the sudden and the words came out of my mouth suddenly:

"No, I won't let that wheelchair define me damn it. No I won't do it. I have to tell Clark I won't do it. I won't bloody do it. I won't go to Switzerland."

So as I am ready to tell my dad, who's in the next room, that I want him to take me too Clark, I turn my face and my wheelchair and I see her:

"Will …"

"Clark …." I said as we were both overwhelmed. Looking at each other so in love.

"Your dad let me in. He's going to the main house to give us privacy. Will, I am sorry. I don't want you to do this. I don't. And I don't want to be away from you . Not for a second. From the moment we got back from Mauritius I …. I was never mad with you. I just love you so much. I will be beside you even if you don't change your mind"

"Clark" I said looking at her smiling and shedding tears.

"No Will just let me finish. I would never feel pity or regret about you. I would never want to be with another man. No one can never give me what you can. Because You are my soul Traynor"

And as I was so moved I told her:

"Clark, come here"

And she sat on my lap and hugged me crying.

"Shhhh Clark … shhhhh … I love you too Clark. You are scored on my heart. And I know you would never feel pity or regret about me. And I know that you would never want anyone else. I know you love me. And I also hate the idea of someone else. Come closer"

And we kissed and then I said:

"I won't do it Clark. I changed my mind. I was just coming to tell you that"

"What? Really?"

"Yes Clark. You are the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. I won't do it. But even if I did, I would still be with you"

"I know we would still be together. We will always be together. We are soul mates"

"Yes we are Clark"

"But it's so great that you won't do it. I can breathe again now Traynor"

"No I won't do it Clark. And I know that I won't get better, but I will stay as I am now and see what happens. With you by my side. I would not let this chair define me."

"You are my life. And I will always be by your side. As I know you will be by my side."

"Yes I will. I will stand by you and you will stand by me. Clark, will you move in with me?"

"Yes Will, yes. I love you"

And we kissed and we stayed there. In our annex. As for the letter I wrote to her, she will read it. It's meant for her. With the only difference that when she will read this letter, my body will still be here. I say my body because my soul would never leave her even after Switzerland. Even if I would go to Switzerland. But I won't go. WE are moving in together. The letter I wrote, my dreams, and most of all, Clark … actually changed my mind.

WILL AND CLARK. FOREVER , TOGETHER, FOR ETERNITY.

 **I just want to say that I know a quad and I imagine it's not easy. But I see that he has also many happy moments as Will has with Clark. I can't even imagine how hard this must be. I don't try to get in anyone's shoes. But I also know that there are many ways for a quad to find happiness. And I love Will Traynor and I would love seeing him return in a second movie and in a third book. Because his love with Louisa , with his Clark is immortal. He is perfect and I will pray every day for a third book and a second movie with him in it and with Sam Claflin and Emilia Clarke reprising their characters as Will and Lou. As Will and Clark. They are scored on my heart forever.**


End file.
